New Year Resolutions

Now that I am getting settled into work again in the new year I have a little bit more freedom to decide which work I want to focus on, with almost a year under my belt. I think teaching at the kindergarten brings equal amounts of frustrations and joy. The kids gave me a quick 'in' into the community and even though sometimes I feel like a babysitter, nourishing kids while they're young is so significant, especially when I don't see education stressed in their home settings. Since I was able to get to know all the toddlers in Kayanga so well, I reap the benefits of every time I walk somewhere groups of them run from their huts to give me hugs. In this new year, however, I am slowly stepping back from that, to allow someone else to step up.

The problem with limiting my work at the kindergarten every morning is that I have more down time, which means I am expected to find my own work. My center is made up of a hut with 2 huge kettle pots and a half finished brick building, there is no boss to report to at 8 am, no clocking in, no emails to check, no fiddling on the computer to even pretend like I am working. So I am out in the community, having my meetings after school with my girls group and dance group, and out under the tree with my woman's group and then...everything else is up in the air. I knew this was part of the deal when I signed up for Peace Corps, never having the satisfaction that comes from job regularity. One could think that being a year into service I would be an expert in the way of my fellow Kayangians but still, there are times I always feel a step behind. For example, I expected the rainy season to obviously bring lots of rain, but what I didn’t account for are the hours and hours that go into plowing for the few morning hours when it is dry. Then everyone seeks shelter under their thatch roofs for the rest of the day. Literally no one is outside, and I can understand why, it is just down pouring the whole day. I guess this is Africa's version of a snow storm that the trucks can't clear by rush hour. My center is completely volunteer based and I can see the effort the women put in to the center when that is not their form of income, they completely live off their livestock and fields. Knowing that the woman are taking time out of raising their family, plowing their fields and all of their daily chores makes it easier to accept my role as a volunteer, we are all on the same page and all receiving the same benefits (aka no money and only personal gratification). It also makes the day better because they sing while they work. I shouldn't expect the woman to work at my convenience when every single year from Dec to April this is what they do. So I target the work that I can, and try not to beat myself over the things I can't control.

I won't sell myself short and say that I am not doing any work here, I left 2011 being proud of what was done and I am very excited about my ideas for 2012, but it's intimidating waking up and knowing the day will only be what you make of it. No one will reprimand me if I just read out by the river all day, or even if I take a trip to my friends place 20 km away. After weeks of that behavior my center would mind, but I essentially have the liberty of working what and when ever I wish. That's a lot of power that I could really abuse. When I was speaking to my dad the other day he said something that put me at ease, essentially living where I am is working. One of the goals in Peace Corps is exchanging cultures, so by me washing my clothes with my friends, listening to their stories or practicing English with the kids while I am at the shop, that is me working. It's certainly not a 9-5, but I am trying to find the balance between setting the bar too high, to avoid a big let down, but never feeling too comfortable with my efforts.